Hey everyone!
It’s been a long time since we checked up on you guys. In behalf of the team, I humbly apologize for
not being able to deliver on our promise of posting our takeaways on time. As what Jay of abinofthoughts.wordpress.com and host of Takeaway
2, had said -
“Life happened.”
So here we are picking up right where we left off.
What's with the new look?
We are now on the third takeaway of the Confidence Project.
You may have noticed that we shed new skin and what this means for us is that
we have thoroughly defined our project’s personality and we incorporated it to
our brand. All credits go to the legendary Darryll Rapacon! Thank you so much for
transforming our brand's identity from words to a wonderful work of art. We owe
you so much. Now where was I, oh here - we may
have a new look but it doesn’t mean that we will be shifting our course. We
will still be giving you a sound approach towards building your confidence. Jay
talked more about the relaunching of the project here: Confidence Project: TheRelaunch.
Why are your Takeaways soooooo long?
We know that the Takeaways aren’t the read-in-one-sitting
type and we have designed it like so because we want you to be immersed deeply
in it. Citing a line from Dr. Cal Newport’s highly acclaimed book “Deep Work,”
"Human beings, it seems, are at their best when immersed deeply in something challenging."
The work that we put in in crafting each takeaway should be
justified by the impact that it will have impressed on you. In this attention
economy, we take the risky but rewarding route of producing attention-demanding
content because we are aiming to grow a community of deep and effective
learners.
In other words, sweetie we don’t want you to have the
attention span of a goldfish. We know that Confidence Project participants are
smart individuals who wish to better themselves to reach their fullest
potentials.
I'm new, what'd I miss?
To those of you who are new, you are in luck because I will
be walking you through what went on in the last couple of months, so sit back
and stretch your cognitive muscles because this is going to be quite long.
Let’s start our review with the Confidence Project Manifesto. We introduced the concept that confidence isn’t something that only
a few were privileged to have. It’s in all of us. We can learn to build it up
so that it can help us later on. We determined that confidence can actually be
seen as the certainty that one has over one’s skills. We further determined
that this certainty can be achieved or increased when one exposes one’s self to
deliberate practice. When one is deliberately practicing a skill for a long
period of time, one gets good at it. He then can translate this as an
assessment of his skills. In short, being confident is saying things like you
mean them. And to mean them, it should be based on an accurate view of your
skills.
“I am good in Math,” can be said in a way that it embodies
reality. You have your test scores to back your claim up, you spend an hour
consistently doing your homework everyday and you got a reward for being the
top scorer in your math exam. In a no nonsense kind of way, you’re not saying
it to brag. You’re saying it like it is. We wish to build that kind of
confidence in us.
The Confidence Project Team thought that the way to do this
is to gather studies about confidence and summing up our findings in monthly
posts we call Takeaways. To ensure that the deliberate practice is done, we
also design challenges that will urge you to apply all of our findings in real
life. To add a little excitement in our
journey to confidence, we shell out SBD rewards for Steemian participants and
funds from our pockets for prizes to be given to our outside Steemit
participants that we think will serve as instruments that will motivate you to
apply the project challenges in your own life.
Wait, what? What does your team get in return?
With us doing all the hard work and shelling out our money,
you ask “What do you get in return?” Good question. We are, in no way, martyrs.
There is something in this for us. We wish to build our own confidences up too.
We figured that in this endeavor, three passionate individuals aren’t enough to
make a significant change. We realized that the more heads we place in this,
the more we will be urged to give it all that we’ve got. In a way, you guys
keep us in check. Since we will not be serving our own selves only, but you, as
well. Comments and suggestions are highly appreciated! Don't hesitate to reach
out to us at confidenceproject2018@gmail.com.
What was Takeaway 1 about?
Takeaway 1 talked about identifying our area of focus. We
did so because we discovered that there are essentially two classifications of
confidence. One was general and the other was specific. Given that we only have
a limited amount of time to host this project, we realized that we can focus on
improving our specific self-confidence first. As it had been mentioned that the
greater our specific self-confidence is in one thing, the higher the chances
our general self-confidence will follow. We urged our participants to determine
their areas of focus and write down actionable items that will enable them to
strengthen their areas of focus.
What about Takeaway 2?
The second takeaway focused on establishing our motivations.
It expounded on the relationship between confidence and motivation. It further
emphasized that we need the two types of motivations to allow us to move
forward with our goals. Apart from the well-known focus on our growth which is
our intrinsic motivation, we have to also attach external rewards which refers
to our extrinsic motivation because we’re not always that inspired to look at
our growth all the time. The challenge urged the participants to identify their
intrinsic and extrinsic motivators.
I'm ready for Takeaway 3, hit me!
After identifying our area of focus and establishing our
motivation, we rationalized that the next takeaway should lock the
"self" aspect in place. As we mentioned in the Confidence Project
Manifesto, our project was to be done in four dimensions:
We thought that in order to close the "self"
aspect, there is a need to make the third takeaway with this closure in mind. After
we've identified our focus, established our motivations, what's next? After
deliberation and doing some readings, we can factor in elements that are
closely tied to our motivations - our principles and values.
Jay mentioned about our motivation coming from our values.
In actuality, your intrinsic and extrinsic motivations give you a clue about
the principles and values that you hold in your life. Whether you are actually
aware of them or not, working on this project, or in any endeavor for that matter,
becomes more rooted in purpose when aligned with the principles and values that
you've currently held or want to hold in your life.
Principles and Values
These two words are often used interchangeably, but in a
stricter sense, they are different. Author of the best-selling book "Seven
Habits of Highly Effective People" Stephen Covey mentioned that principles
are
"...natural laws that are impersonal, factual, objective and self-evident."
Furthermore, in terms of durability, they are fundamental.
An example of a principle would be the principle of gravity.
Values according to Stephen Covey, on the other hand, are
"...social norms which are personal, emotional, subjective and arguable."
He even goes on to add that even criminals have values.
Values can be constant but can emerge and evolve over time with varying
conditions. Examples of values are transparency and openness.
Confidence and Our Principles and Values
Now you may ask what roles our principles and values play in
building up our confidence. I personally think that incorporating our
principles and values in our journey to confidence is, in a way, working with
ourselves. I am a believer of the notion that when we work with ourselves,
things will go easier for us. What I mean by this is - it will be easier for
you to commit to a strict diet if you value health and fitness as compared to
when you value indulgence.
What principles and values do we incorporate in our lives
then? Principles that have greater impacts in our lives are those that were
made evident when we were still children. Although we can say that all
principles can affect us because they are fundamental truths or constraints,
those that we have incorporated in our lives are those that have made impacts
on us when we were still children. As an illustration, we can take the
principle of inequality to light.
When Nate was a young boy, he noticed that his classmate had
a really cool talent for singing. Nate tried to sing as good as his classmate
did, but he didn't have the natural gift. As praises were given to Nate's
classmate for his great rendition of a song in their class' talent showcase, he
realized that he needed to practice much harder than his classmate did to get
as good as him. He then placed value on hard work. It happened upon the
perception of the principle of inequality - resources, in this case Nate's
classmate's singing talent genes, are scarce and distributed unevenly.
This is not the only way that values are incorporated in our
lives, by the way. Other mechanisms in
which values described by Morris Massey will be discussed in the following
text.
Values Development
Sociologist and marketing professor Morris Massey has
described three major periods of values development. Through the writings of
Tad James, these are:
The Imprint Period
This period covers birth to age 7. At this stage, we are
often described as 'sponge-like' in that we learn and store everything that
happens in our environment. Specifically, our basic programming occurs between
ages 2 to 4. Complete programming may have already occurred by the time we are
aged 4. It is important to note that all beliefs here were unconsciously picked
up from our parents.
The Modeling Period
This period ranges from ages 8 to 13. We begin to
consciously and unconsciously model basic behaviors. We may start dressing like
our parents. In the imprint period, the child is mostly unaware of any
difference between the parents and himself. In other words, the child
experiences no different from his parents' experiences. At age 8, we start to
notice people outside ourselves. At age 13, we look at the happenings in the
world. We model the behavior of our friends and family. As children of this
stage, we develop heroes. We adapt to the values of the people we determined as
heroes. Massey views that our values are "...based on where we were and
what was happening in the world when we were 10."
The Socialization Period
This period spans from age 14 to 21. We begin our social
interaction with other human beings. We
learn about relationships and social values. Most of our values are just about
complete at this stage in our life, specifically at age 21. Moreover, core values do not change at this point unless a
significant emotional experience or therapeutic change is done. This is in
contrast to more conscious values which will change and evolve continually.
These basic core values which were formed at age 10 are locked in at age 21. In
this stage our peers have large influence over us, especially people who seem
more like us. Other influences that may have influence over us include media
especially those parts that seem to identify with the values of our peer
groups.
Values can then come from principles and our upbringing.
With these in mind, we can now easily identify the values that we have incorporated
in this confidence-building journey.
Means and End Values
In order to get to the bottom of why we want to stay in the
project we saw the need to go to the primary causes of such. In our readings,
we came to know that the reason why we do the things we do is because we want
to feel a certain way. Think about it. What are the things that you value most
in life? Is it your well-being? Your sense of vocation? Your family? Your
advocacy to end poverty? You think that these will have to be achieved in order
for you to be happy and fulfilled. You're thinking that these will lead you to
the feelings that you most want in your life.
Means values
These values called such because they are the means by which
you are pursuing your goals. They are instrumental values that are done as part
of the effort to achieve other values. As per Burton and Platts, they are
"...the grown-up version of your need to satisfy your inner child's wanting to feel a certain way."
Ends values
On the other hand, ends values are the ways in which you
want to feel. They are more general and more important in the eyes of the
groups who are doing the valuing
Examples
(taken from Building Confidence for Dummies)
Dave is a married man whose first means value is his family.
He was able to determine this by answering the question, "What is the most
important to me in my life?" Afterwhich, he asked himself another
question. "If I have this, what does it give me?" to which he
replied, "A reason to get up in the morning to provide for them." He
continued this line of questioning with, "And what will that give
me?" His reply was "A reason for being active and powerful in the
world." He went on with questioning himself until he arrived at the basic
emotion or feeling that he had been meaning to achieve. In this case, he came
down to 'self-respect.'
Joel is an artist who places value in the work that he does.
He used to play in a band. He said that when he played for his band they often
sang to empty venues. “Would it have been better to share the experience with a
receptive audience?” he asked himself. He’d answer in the affirmative but he
realized that even if that weren’t so, the joy he felt in performing was still
there.
In the light of confidence, it is important that we identify
our means and ends values so that we can move forward more effectively. Upon
identification of these, an alignment between your principles and values to
your action items will serve as a "self-correcting" process with
which you can adjust should there be a need to improve.
The difficult things that you've been pursuing in your life
are just to help you feel a certain way.
Summing it all up
• Takeaway 3 is intended to lock up the "self"
aspect of the Confidence Project. As such, it was designed to enable
self-correction should the participant see the need to do so. The first three
takeaways adapted an outside-in approach that went deeper into our own selves
with each takeaway. Takeaway 1 was instructional, takeaway 2 dug up a bit of
our reason for doing things and takeaway 3 incorporated our nature in the mix.
• Principles and values differ in that the former is based
on fundamental truths and are objective while the latter can evolve and are
subjective. There is a need to identify what our principles and values are so
that we can make them work for us and not against us.
• It can be said that everything that we do in this project
(means values) are geared towards making us feel a certain way (ends values).
Challenge me already!
Here it is:
1. Determine your areas of focus as discussed in Takeaway 1.
You don't need to make a separate entry for it, you just have to determine
these areas that you would like to focus on so that you can establish your
motivation accordingly.
2. Clearly lay out your motivations behind the area/s of
focus that you chose by classifying them as intrinsic and extrinsic as in
Takeaway 2. You also don't have to make a separate entry for it, you just have
to establish these so that you can derive your values later on.
3. Dissect your intrinsic and extrinsic motivators by asking
this question, "Why is this important to me?" List your first few
answers to this as your means values. Repeat this question until you come down
to a basic feeling which shall be your ends values.
4. To help you in constructing the details of your entry,
here is an example. As you can see, the presentation is a brief one. You are
free to express your ideas without being conscious about the length of your
explanation.
Area of Focus: Develop confidence in writing
Activities to Build an Accurate View of Skills:
• Writing in my journal everyday
• Creating posts in my blog at least once every week
• Read at least one book every month in order to gain a new
perspective in different styles of writing
Motivations in Pursuing this Goal:
Intrinsic Motivations:
• I consider writing as a form of reflection. Every time I
transform my feelings and ideas into words that I can understand, I get to
recognize what these actually are. I consider this important because the more I
get to be aware of my thoughts and emotions, the more I gain the wisdom that I
need to succeed.
Extrinsic Motivations:
• I want to earn through this writing. Through Steemit, I
can monetize every blog post I make and attend to my financial needs.
Values Derived From:
Intrinsic Motivators:
• It's clear that I value self-awareness. Why is this
important to me? Because it gives me the wisdom that I need to succeed. Why is
it important to succeed? Because it gives me a fulfilling feeling.
Extrinsic Motivators:
• It's clear that I value earning from honest work. Why is
this important to me? Because it leads me to financial stability. Why is it
important to be financially stable? Because it gives me a sense of security.
There are no wrong answers in this part. The most important
thing here is for you to undergo the process of questioning in order to
identify what your means and ends values are in achieving your confidence. This
will then allow you to evaluate whether or not there is a need to re-evaluate
your action items to be able to do them effectively.
Follow these steps and hit us an email at confidenceproject2018@gmail.com:
1. Set the title of the email to "Confidence Project Entry 3: Aligning
Your Principles and Values"
2. Present your entry for this takeaway
3. Like and share our Facebook Page here.
You can post your entries until June 30, 2018 and the
winners will be announced in another post that I will be posting on July 2018.
The winner/s will be receiving iChemistry perfume with a scent of her/his choice. Check them out here.
Important notes
We have intended for Takeaway 3 to be a sort of
self-correcting tool. It functions similar to a spirit level.
image from: souq.com
At the end of the challenge of this takeaway, you will be
able to come to the main causes of why you are partaking this journey to
confidence in the first place. These causes should serve as guide for you to
adjust your action items accordingly. Like the spirit level, this takeaway will
enable you to see how aligned your principles and values are to your actions.
You will get to see the inconsistencies, if any, that you need to sort through
first before moving on with confidence effectively. We leave the handling of
these inconsistencies to you, confident individual!
We have now closed the self aspect of our takeaways. Get
ready to move up to the inner circlein the coming quarter.
References
Burton, K. & Platts, B. (2006). Building Confidence for
Dummies. John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. Chichester, West Sussex.
Covey, S. R. (2004). The 7 habits of highly effective people
([Rev. ed.].). New York: Free Press.
Means Values, Ends Values and Ultimate Values. Sociology
Guide. Retrieved June 2018.
Values Development. Changing Minds. Retrieved June 2018.
Values and Personality Formation. Chandra Kant. Retrieved
June 2018.
Growing in confidence with you,
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